Change can be incredibly hard, because doing something differently than how you did it in the past, or doing something for the first time is by its very nature difficult. But it can also challenging for another reason; change can be hard because of the reactions the changes you are undergoing or implementing illicit from the people around you. Your change doesn’t just affect you, it often creates a ripple effect that lands on others. People you thought were there for you might turn on you. If you are working on any major change in your life or addressing head on, problems that have caused you to stumble, getting in the way of your living the life you are capable of living – most likely you are going to upset some people around you. Maybe even big time.
There’s a saying about this, something along the lines of: “When you change there are going to be people you’ll upset – because of what your changes bring up in them. They will do everything they can to get you to change back!” Changing back is what will allow them to continue to be comfortable in their lives. Hell, who likes change, right? I get it. Shaking things up in life is hard stuff!!! It can literally hurt, it is scary, there is so much unknown, self-doubt can come to play like a trophy is on the line.
Feedback and judgements you might be on the receiving end could include: “Who do you think you are?” “You are sure getting full of yourself!” “You’re a fake.” “You are going to fail, wake up, you can’t do this.” “What’s wrong with how things are, things are going fine, why do you feel the need to mess up a good thing?” If you find yourself on the receiving end of such comments consider doing this, add the words “…I’m afraid you will leave me behind,” after virtually any criticism suddenly it might be possible to have clarity as to why this person is saying what they are. Which in turn can often lead to understanding and compassion for your critic.
It’s vital to hear what any critic might be saying and ask yourself honestly if there is any truth or perspective in their words you can learn from. But then, let the rest go. Whatever they are saying and their criticism has more to do with them and what they aren’t facing than with you. As long as you can look yourself in the mirror and be at peace which your choices and decisions, knowing these changes are setting you in the direction you need to go, then carry on. In peace. In pride. In strength.
It’s not your job to ensure the comfort of others. Period. That’s their job.
Trust yourself. Change is going to ruffle the feathers of so many people around you, it’ll surprise you and it might even take your breath away with hostilities and emotions that may arise. But, and this is soooooo important, do not get derailed. If you are being true to your heart with clarity and honesty, trust yourself and continue with confidence down the new path you are creating.
rest heal grow 